No matter how good written words are, sometimes you need advice and emotional support in context with your own story. Sometimes you need confirmation from another human being that you are not going mad and your instincts and gut feelings are real and right.
I am a well experienced “confidante” and counsellor who listens. Time and again I’m told I “get it” when few others do.
That’s partly because Power and Control and Coercive Control are core influencers of domestic and family violence problems that have been universally overlooked until recent times.
Few counsellors, domestic violence workers or other health professionals, are trained to consider the wide overarching view of hegemonic masculinities and viewing male behaviour through the lens of the ruling or dominant political, religious and social context.
It is also partly because most of the closely involved families, and professionals who work at the “coal face” of daily domestic violence challenges, are overwhelmed. Often they are too mentally and physically exhausted, too under-resourced, too “time poor” to cram in the other levels of knowledge needed to throw more light onto this problem of growing epidemic proportions.
Metaphorically, the ambulance is still waiting at the bottom of the cliff as policing, legal and governing institutional bodies struggle to catch up.
Only now has the true depth of the secretive domestic and family violence scourge come out from behind so called “private” closed doors.
Whether you are experiencing abuse, using abuse against others, or are a concerned bystander … I am here to help you make sense of your life’s drama and guide you safely through the next steps of your journey.
Contact me so I can support you to make informed choices to deal with the people and systems that trap and diminish you.
Here are some ways I can help you to survive, recover and thrive:
- Just talk things through
- Get help to make a decision
- Identify what you really want and need
- Increase your self belief, emotional strength and determination
- Explore feelings of loss, broken dreams and promises
- Learn how to change beliefs such as: “I’m not good enough”, “There’s something wrong with me”, “I’m a failure”
- Explore ways to deal with parental alienation
- Get help to stop feeling crazy
- Develop new strategies to communicate with an abusive person
- Explore assertive ways to communicate with children who have become disrespectful
- Learn the principles of correct boundary setting and how to maintain those boundaries
- Get techniques to manage anxiety
- Strategise step-by-step goals for the next month, year or lifetime
- Equip yourself with extra tools on your healing journey
- Optimise your ability to cope while you remain in the relationship
- Plan how to free yourself and leave safely
- Equip yourself with tools to cope with being single
- Gain deeper understanding of warning signs and healthy ways to develop future relationships
- And more….
After a lifetime of anxiety, I’ve been out pottering around town 3 times this week! I’m feeling more confident, and I like myself more and I’m wanting to look after my health more. My resentment is dropping away and I no longer talk about myself as a bad mother. I’m NOT feeling depressed like I was and this week I’ve not shown any signs of experiencing anxiety, for the first time ever. I’m feeling more comfortable in my own skin. Thank you so much for your help.—Evelyn
Clare, Thank you so much for being such a compassionate confidante, for showing me the wonder, beauty and strength of myself and for helping me to coax that wonderful part of me out for increasingly longer periods. You’re a gem. — Counselling Client
Safety and Rapport
Some issues are just not suitable for Online Consulting or Counselling. This is especially so for people who are in crisis, or who experience severe mental health disorders or who have personality disorders which are not well managed.
The first session is a time of assessing the issues you need support with and whether we have a rapport and we both feel safe and willing to work together.
All verbal and written communication between us is kept private and confidential, unless you give specific consent to particular information being disclosed.