However, this blog post is about heterosexual relationships. Understanding the role that gender plays in domestic violence in heterosexual relationships is important because there are differences in perpetrators’ motivation and intention, differences in severity of abuse, differences in one-off isolated acts of abuse compared with repeated ongoing patterns of abuse. There are differences in the
Myths about Domestic Violence
Three reasons why women stay with a controlling partner
– Posted in: Belief in a Just World Intimate partner abuseDo you wonder why she stays? Are you a woman who gets down on yourself because you are staying with him? If a woman believes she has married a charming, caring man, but then he goes on to control, manipulate and abuse her, this can be extremely confusing. There are many many reasons why women continue
Anger that just won’t go away
– Posted in: Anger Belief in a Just WorldI've known many women who, after leaving a controlling male partner, experienced ongoing anger that just would not go away. Some women have incessant thoughts of revenge and fight with themselves not to do something they'll regret. I'm writing this blog in response to a comment posted by Amy in my blog post about how
Do you believe the world is just? Believing this can keep you trapped in relationship
– Posted in: Belief in a Just WorldMost people want to believe the World is Just and Fair. Melvin Lerner, a social psychologist who in 1980 wrote The Belief in a Just World: A Fundamental Delusion, says that the Belief in a Just World influences our assumptions about how to judge perpetrators who do harm and how to judge victims who are
Book review: Not of my making: Bullying, scapegoating and misconduct in churches
– Posted in: Belief in a Just World Bullying in ChurchesHere I write a review of Dr. Margaret W. Jones's book about her experience of abuse within church communities. My first impressions when I received this memoir to review were that it was a heavy long 400-page book with small writing so I thought it better be good! I was surprised that a Reverend had
Interview with a woman who was bullied and scapegoated in churches
– Posted in: Belief in a Just World Social Institutions & AbuseThe following is an interview I conducted with Margaret Jones PhD, who has written a book about her experiences titled: Not of my making: Bullying, scapegoating and misconduct in Churches. Clare: What were the tactics of bullying, scapegoating, misconduct and psychological abuse that you experienced as the target of those tactics? Margaret: My adversaries refused
Are women who live with abusive partners codependent?
– Posted in: Codependency Intimate partner abuseThe other day I met a social worker/counsellor at a seminar. When she found out I research domestic violence she immediately told me that women who stay with violent men are codependent. She said such women were just the same as women who live with alcoholics. She was not interested in another view because she
The Emperor has no clothes
– Posted in: Belief in a Just World Gender socialisation Intimate partner abuse Male perpetrators Social Institutions & Abuse Warning signs of abuseWomen I interviewed for my Masters research said that before marrying, most of them had total belief in their partner – because he was a man. The women said that trusting and believing their partner - just because he was a man - was socially encouraged. In other words when he used abusive language, or
Alcohol and murder
– Posted in: Alcohol & violence SAFETY of Women & ChildrenIn today's issue of the New Zealand Herald I read another example of a male perpetrator of domestic violence and psychological abuse who intended to harm his partner - but used alcohol as an excuse to minimise his responsibility. Snippets from the article say: "Ross Simon Fraser has admitted beating his partner Joanne Thompson to
Alcohol Does Not Cause Domestic Violence
– Posted in: Alcohol & violence Myths about Domestic ViolenceThe link between alcohol and violence is oversimplified and creates false stereotypes. I bet if you thought of a man who perpetrated domestic violence against his female partner, you would guess he was probably drinking alcohol. In fact this assumption is supported by research that finds that men who use alcohol and who hit their