Most women who come to me for counselling are often confused and exasperated by their male partner’s flip flopping between ‘good guy’ and ‘bad guy’. Pauline said her husband Chris, “would be so lovely and charming to other people and so shit horrible to me.” Peter, a man who’d attended a stopping violence programme told
Warning signs of abuse
Warning signs of coercive control
– Posted in: Warning signs of abuseWarning Signs of Coercive Control by Your Partner Clues to warning signs that you're in a relationship that is highly likely to continue to get worse - exist on many levels - including . . . Things your partner thinks, says and does Things you think, say and do in response to his attitudes, words
Warning signs that your male partner is emotionally controlling you
– Posted in: Warning signs of abusePerhaps you got into the relationship quickly, maybe had sex much sooner than you wanted. Maybe you didn’t develop a friendship before suddenly spending most of your time with him and hardly, if ever, seeing your friends or family any more. Your life may have narrowed so that you’re no longer pursuing your own interests
The Emperor has no clothes
– Posted in: Belief in a Just World Gender socialisation Intimate partner abuse Male perpetrators Social Institutions & Abuse Warning signs of abuseWomen I interviewed for my Masters research said that before marrying, most of them had total belief in their partner – because he was a man. The women said that trusting and believing their partner - just because he was a man - was socially encouraged. In other words when he used abusive language, or
Animal abuse linked to domestic violence
– Posted in: Animal abuse Children's exposure to abuse Male perpetrators Warning signs of abuse Why does he do itSome male perpetrators of domestic violence harm family pets to get power and control over their wives and children. Men's cruelty to companion animals silences women and children and is used to gain compliance, instill fear and prevents women from leaving and abusive relationship
Men’s tactics of coercive control against female partners
– Posted in: Male perpetrators Warning signs of abuse Why does he do it
The following list of tactics of power and control summarises the list that you can download by subscribing to SpeakOutLoud in the side panel. I have written separate blog posts explaining each of the following ways men use coercive control against female partners: One-sided power games including behaviours that ensure he has his way at her