Gender socialisation

Behind closed doors men and women, untutored in the art of relationship, struggle with what is right and wrong – how they are supposed to act as a couple; trying to reconcile the contradictions of their upbringing and the effects of societal pressures. Behind closed doors people are confronted with the realities of life-changing commitment [...]

In 1765 William Blackstone, a theorist of the British common law stated, "the very being and legal existence of the woman is suspended during the marriage, or at least is incorporated into that of her husband under whose wing (and) protection she performs everything." In ancient Rome the legal distinction was made between men and women [...]

In January 2015 the UK House of Commons amended the Serious Crime Bill [Lords] to make Coercive Controlling behaviour by an intimate partner or family member a criminal offence. The legislation came into force on 19th December 2015. Here is one man’s story about the way he coercively controls his wife and her family. He doesn’t [...]

Dominant social pressures encourage many boys and men to wear a mask. To hide their authentic selves behind a wall. A barrier that prevents getting emotionally close to other men, and to women. Thrust into an unforgiving world of bullying, one-upmanship and power struggles amongst men — Many boys and men learn that to stay [...]

This is the fifteenth of 16 blogs discussing the patterns of tactics from my power and control wheel — Domestic Slavery. Amongst heterosexual couples, many people believe the man should be the breadwinner (although being the sole breadwinner is really only possible for wealthy families). Alongside this, many people believe the woman should stay at [...]

When we see that a man beats his wife we tend to assume the abuse is the problem of the individuals involved. He has a problem or she has a problem. The same is true if you read a newspaper article about a man who sexually abuses his female partner. Most readers assume the abuse [...]

Men and women are socialised into a society founded on social hierarchies. In the west, those who are considered to have higher status than others are white people, people with higher education, men, people in the middle age range (that is not children and not elderly), people who are physically and mentally able, the rich, [...]

But this does not mean they enter a relationship that leads to abuse and control. However, this was the case for many of the women I interviewed in my Masters research, and many of the women I see for counselling. Some women talk about having their life mapped out for them. For example, whether or [...]

Women I interviewed for my Masters research said that before marrying, most of them had total belief in their partner – because he was a man. The women said that trusting and believing their partner - just because he was a man - was socially encouraged. In other words when he used abusive language, or [...]

Do you wonder what it would feel like to be free? Do you have a legacy of fear and shame? Has the aftermath of abuse led you to be a conformist? Or has it led you to be riddled with anger so bad that you rebel? Fear and shame are the lifeblood of one-sided power [...]