SpeakOutLoud header image
Learn About Coercive Control and Psychological Abuse

Tactic #7 — Degradation & Suppression of Potential

– Posted in: Fear and shame Intimate partner abuse Male perpetrators Why does he do it

This is the seventh of 16 blogs discussing the patterns of tactics from my power and control wheel – Degradation & Suppression of Potential. Men who degrade their female partner do this by calling her derogatory names like slut or whore, using abusive language, correcting things the woman says or does, by depriving her of

Tactic #6 — Emotional Unkindness & Violation of Trust

– Posted in: Fear and shame Intimate partner abuse Male perpetrators Why does he do it

This is the sixth of 16 blogs discussing the patterns of tactics from my power and control wheel – Emotional unkindness & violation of trust. Emotional unkindness entails DOING something unkind and the ABSENCE of, or FAILURE to do something kind. Emotional unkindness is a failure to provide for emotional needs such as encouragement, understanding,

Tactic #5 — Over-Protection and ‘Caring’

– Posted in: Intimate partner abuse Male perpetrators Why does he do it

This is the fifth of 16 blogs discussing the patterns of tactics from my power and control wheel – Over-protection and ‘caring’. Many men who psychologically abuse and control their female partners do not define their behaviour as cruel or abusive. This is partly because their behaviours make perfect sense when viewed from their belief

Building collaborations to eliminate family violence

– Posted in: Intimate partner abuse

This month the issues paper that I co-wrote, with Janet Fanslow PhD, for the New Zealand Family Violence Clearinghouse (NZFVC) was published. The paper outlines facilitators and barriers to weaving cooperation and collaboration amongst government, institutions and community organisations when intervening in abusive situations and when engaging in initiatives aimed at preventing domestic violence. The

Tactic #2 — Mind Games

– Posted in: Intimate partner abuse Male perpetrators Why does he do it

This is the second of 16 blogs discussing the patterns of tactics from my power and control wheel – Mind Games.   Mind Games are deliberate attempts to psychologically manipulate someone. They are covert, coercive, manipulative intentions masked by innocent sounding communication. Mind Game language is designed to confuse and keep the victim from guessing

A new power and control wheel

– Posted in: Intimate partner abuse Male perpetrators Why does he do it

You may recognise the Duluth ‘power and control’ wheel (on the left below) … it has been hanging around noticeboards at women’s centres, doctor’s rooms, and various other crisis places where women seek answers and shelter from violence perpetrated by their partners and spouses. The wheel is a summation of violence based on women’s experiences

No bruise no victim?

– Posted in: Helping victims/survivors

One of the most common problems for women experiencing psychological abuse, is that they do not realise what is occurring in the early stages and are often not able to put it in context of their normal lives. When psychological abuse begins it will often creep in over time; a subtle edge of voice tone,

How to Know if a Woman is in Danger of Being Killed and What You Can do About it

– Posted in: Helping victims/survivors Intimate partner abuse Male perpetrators SAFETY of Women & Children Why does he do it

Threats of suicide by a man with a history of psychologically controlling his partner can be an indicator that he could seriously harm or murder family members, often before killing himself. Such threats make it vital for wider family and friends to urge and support a woman to seek frontline help from skilled professionals. Conducting a

Is men’s abuse of female partners an individual problem or a social problem?

– Posted in: Gender socialisation Male perpetrators Social Institutions & Abuse Why does he do it

When we see that a man beats his wife we tend to assume the abuse is the problem of the individuals involved. He has a problem or she has a problem. The same is true if you read a newspaper article about a man who sexually abuses his female partner. Most readers assume the abuse

Move forward - Get Counselling help with Clare Yes. I'm ready.