SpeakOutLoud header image
Learn About Coercive Control and Psychological Abuse

Clare’s Philosophy

I bridge the gap between psychology and sociology. I take a wide view of the person and of society. Every thought you have, every feeling you feel, every action you take is shaped by society and – in turn – you shape society. The relationship between individuals and society is multifaceted, complex and full of contradictions.

I challenge popular myths, misnomers and stereotypes. For instance, when it comes to gender – men are not from mars and women are not from venus – we are all earthlings. Even so, not all men are the same. Not all women are the same. Each of us has many hidden tricky and conflicting parts of ourselves. Each collective group of men and of women has vast, multiple nuances that will be explored in this website.

Western society is riddled with dualisms. Mind vs body. Men vs women. Money vs Spirit. Strong vs Weak. These dualisms are false and misrepresent who you truly are. Men are more than strong. They are also vulnerable, weak, emotional – but there are social messages that suggest they’re not allowed to be. Women are more than nurturers. They are entrepreneurs, hard-hearted and strong – but there are social messages that consider this unbecoming and even evil.

Western society has become a specialised, compartmentalised society absorbed in ever smaller bits of the whole. Doctors aim to heal the body. Counsellors and psychologists aim to heal the mind. Social workers aim to heal the family. All in isolation.

You cannot understand a perpetrator who perpetrates psychological abuse and control without understanding the bigger social picture – without understanding the pervasive effects that environments like school, the media, the sporting arena and the workplace have on their motivations.

How can you help a woman or man who is trapped in a psychologically abusive and controlling relationship if you do not understand the full force of what entraps them?

All the articles you find in this website and blog endeavour to give views that combine the psyche with social forces. You don’t just get one piece of the jigsaw – you get the overview, the larger beautiful and ugly picture.

Theories and modalities I draw from in my work:

  • Sociology
  • Social Psychology
  • Critical Psychology
  • Critical Studies of Men and Masculinities
  • Contemporary Feminisms
  • Social Ecological Model
  • Post-structuralism
  • Post-modernism
  • Narrative Theory
  • Mindfulness
  • Buddhist Psychotherapy
  • Logotherapy
  • Pierre Bourdieu’s Field Theory
  • Cognitive Behaviour Therapy
  • Response Based Therapy
  • Non-Violent Communication

Everything I say in this website can only be said because of the many mentors and teachers who have guided me in my life process. And this could only happen because of their mentors and teachers who came before them.