SpeakOutLoud

About Coercive Control and Psychological Abuse

Fear and shame

Tactic #7 — Degradation & Suppression of Potential

– Posted in: Fear and shame, Intimate partner abuse, Male perpetrators, Why does he do it

This is the seventh of 16 blogs discussing the patterns of tactics from my power and control wheel – Degradation & Suppression of Potential. Men who degrade their female partner do this by calling her derogatory names like slut or whore, using abusive language, correcting things the woman says or does, by depriving her of [...]

Tactic #6 — Emotional Unkindness & Violation of Trust

– Posted in: Fear and shame, Intimate partner abuse, Male perpetrators, Why does he do it

This is the sixth of 16 blogs discussing the patterns of tactics from my power and control wheel – Emotional unkindness & violation of trust. Emotional unkindness entails DOING something unkind and the ABSENCE of, or FAILURE to do something kind. Emotional unkindness is a failure to provide for emotional needs such as encouragement, understanding, [...]

Shame experienced by abuse victims

– Posted in: Fear and shame

Dr Angela Jury conducted interviews with 25 survivors of intimate partner abuse for her PhD research. The following are extracts from a Massey University news release about her study: Abused women – especially victims of psychological and emotional torment – are often so paralysed by what they see as the stigma and shame associated with [...]

How to muster the courage to step away from bad relationships

– Posted in: Fear and shame, Gender socialisation, Male perpetrators, Social Institutions & Abuse, Why does he do it

Do you wonder what it would feel like to be free? Do you have a legacy of fear and shame? Has the aftermath of abuse led you to be a conformist? Or has it led you to be riddled with anger so bad that you rebel? Fear and shame are the lifeblood of one-sided power [...]