SpeakOutLoud

About Coercive Control and Psychological Abuse

Fear and shame

Tactic #7 — Degradation & Suppression of Potential

– Posted in: Fear and shame, Intimate partner abuse, Male perpetrators, Why does he do it

This is the seventh of 16 blogs discussing the patterns of tactics from my power and control wheel – Degradation & Suppression of Potential. Men who degrade their female partner do this by calling her derogatory names like slut or whore, using abusive language, correcting things the woman says or does, by depriving her of [...]

Tactic #6 — Emotional Unkindness & Violation of Trust

– Posted in: Fear and shame, Intimate partner abuse, Male perpetrators, Why does he do it

This is the sixth of 16 blogs discussing the patterns of tactics from my power and control wheel – Emotional unkindness & violation of trust. Emotional unkindness entails DOING something unkind and the ABSENCE of, or FAILURE to do something kind. Emotional unkindness is a failure to provide for emotional needs such as encouragement, understanding, [...]

Shame experienced by abuse victims

– Posted in: Fear and shame

Dr Angela Jury conducted interviews with 25 survivors of intimate partner abuse for her PhD research. The following are extracts from a Massey University news release about her study: Abused women – especially victims of psychological and emotional torment – are often so paralysed by what they see as the stigma and shame associated with [...]

Fear and shame: The lifeblood that keeps men’s control over others alive

– Posted in: Fear and shame, Gender socialisation, Male perpetrators, Social Institutions & Abuse, Why does he do it

If you have had abusive life experiences it is highly possible you were left with a legacy of fear and shame. Until you embark on a journey of healing this legacy by developing awareness, wisdom and empathy for yourself and others, these feelings may have led you down one of two tracks - to conformity [...]